


Review for Avengers

by Ash_Cassidy97



Category: Original Work
Genre: Movie Spoilers, Reviews, movie reviews
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 01:17:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4000471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ash_Cassidy97/pseuds/Ash_Cassidy97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My review for Avengers, because I like posting things in public places so flamers can attack me. Whoooo. Let's do this.</p>
<p>THIS CONTAINS MASSIVE-UNBELIEVABLE SPOILERS</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Warning: flames will be handled politely but with some instances of sarcasm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Review for Avengers

I saw the Avengers last night, and this is my rant. So, massive spoilers.

 

Quicksilver dies. Now,they sold it as ‘but this isn’t really Quicksilver. I mean, sure he’s the sister of Scarlet Witch, but it isn’t really him. Why? We changed his name and backstory, because we don’t own the rights to him.”

 

And that is my main problem with this whole thing. The movie is sold on Ultron, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, and Vision, right? Except, they don’t own the rights to Quicksilver. It’s like promising a stripper for your friend’s bachelor party (this is how the nerds feel) party, and then showing up with your cousin Rachel who took dancing lessons. It’s just weird, and awkward, and inappropriate.

 

So, of course, they have to kill him off. At this point, the Marvel fandom tops Sherlock on pain and torture. The amount of fridging (killing off a significant other to make a character more tragic) is unbelievable. It was a dick move, and I knew about it before I watched the thing, because people don’t know spoiler tags.

 

But, let’s skip all that. All of it, because somebody else will take up the rant. Let’s talk about the bullshit of Hawkeye.

 

Clint Barton has had a known romantic attachment to Bobbi ‘Mockingbird’ Morse, Natasha Romanov, and other women. Never has ‘Laura Barton’ ever been mentioned in any of the comics. And yes, I’m an asshole who’s ranting, but if they go to the trouble of trying to give Barton a happy ending, they should do it right.

 

The thing is that Hawkeye was never supposed to be a main character in the Avengers. He is constantly criticized by main media, but the fandom fell in love with their version of him. So, Agents of Shield fucked with Bobbi Morse, because she is a badass, and then married her off to Lance Hunter. And I'm fine with that. That’s fine. Except, it ignores her past with Barton, and makes it like she doesn’t even know who he is.

 

The arrow necklace freaked out a lot of the fans. People were like ‘hell yeah! Let’s do this!’ Except she’s not. She attempts a Thing with Bruce Banner, which everybody knows is bullshit.  So, I’m done with Marvel being like ‘we fucked up with Hawkeye, and now we’re trying to fix it’, because we all know that Barton’s kids are going to get fridged. You know it, I know it, Barton (the character) even knows it, because he is known for not wanting to have a serious family.

 

Let’s talk about Natasha Romanov. If you know the comics than you know that the infertility thing is bullshit. She has a kid with Captain America who becomes the leader of the Next Avengers. While that is never carried through ever again . . ..it makes me believe that there’s going to be some  miracle cure for her infertility. So her whole love interest with Banner is bullshit, and we all know it.

 

I am not going to get into how ridiculous the story is or the amount of terrible CGI, because it is what you expect from a Marvel movie. The humor was good. The characterization was really good. Parts of the plot was were really weak, but that’s normal for Marvel. Yes, Quicksilver’s death was stupid (fast enough to grab a car, but not fast enough to hide behind it? Bullshit).

  
But it was generally really good, and it was good about poking fun at itself. Like, Renner was not acting when he said “The city is flying! We're fighting an army of robots! And I have a bow and arrow! None of this makes sense!”


End file.
